Totó tells you what’s wrong with you
Totó is looking at you. He says nothing. This is not a good sign.
Totó is getting ready. Judging. About to speak.
A cat is not a substitute for a therapist. But it is cheaper. And cute. Oh, and don’t mash the button. Give the first answer some attention. And come back another day!
Wait, what is all this?
Two cats, Totó and Rozi, live in a shop window in Székesfehérvár, Hungary. They don’t do any work. They lie there, now and then glance at passers-by, and that’s it.
Their devoted “mum” has spent almost a year on the rough side of the job market. She could write a book about how not to get invited to interviews, despite being wildly creative and speaking at conferences. (She is writing a book, actually. About something else.)
So, with no steady income for about a year, the family council decided the cats should join the game called making a living, with everyone putting their best assets to work. The human brings her marketable but underused skill set. The cats bring professional loafing and a talent for dispensing opinions.
That is where all this came from: this website, the quiz, the tuna sponsorship. It is not a save-us campaign, more of an “open your wallet when something made you smile” kind of deal. If that’s not enough for you, you can also offer the human a job or a collaboration, by the way.
What is there to know about Totó?
Totó came to me during Covid, from the unsocialised cat gang of the Segítő Kéz Foundation in Tatabánya, so trust, for historical reasons, is not his default setting. His nervous system is not perfect. He once jumped out of a third-floor window straight through the mosquito net, and he hid in the engine bay of a Toyota Ignis, from where it took four people and a sedative injection in the backside to get him out. He lost his front teeth in the incident, which gives him a rugged look and doesn’t hold him back otherwise. Last year, poor guy, he developed kidney disease, so he can now eat only the prescription diet food, which costs close to €50 a bag. His little brother Alfi, who died of cancer two years ago, he still sometimes calls out for at night. But overall, after almost 7 years, he has made friends with me, although he still won’t let me pick him up.
In his new job his title is Head of Mood, his speciality is condescending stares, and he tolerates only privileged people near him. He can be motivated with YouTube videos of birds and good hiding spots, and his favourite activity is poking Rozi.
His motto: “Feed me and leave me alone.” If that sounds like a certain relative or colleague, it’s no coincidence. (If it sounds like your partner, I’d think hard about it in your place…)
Would you like to support this furry child’s work, so he can show off in front of the others? Here are your options:
Can’t spare €1? Share instead.
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